HUMBLE YOURSELF: A GUIDE FOR DELIVERING A CHALLENGING AND TIMELY MESSAGE

DO YOU HAVE A CHALLENGING BUT TIMELY MESSASGE TO DELIVER?

HUMBLE YOURSELF: A GUIDE FOR DELIVERING A CHALLENING AND TIMELY MESSAGE TO YOUR CLIENT, PROSPECT, BUSINESS PARTNER, OR ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP.


(by Aaron Schulman 10-12-09)


We cannot be in any form of marketplace activity, including work, business, marital relationships, church and other organizations, without having to be engaged in conflict and confrontation. We all struggle with handling confrontation in a righteous way, and no one is perfect, yet the Bible has much to say about how to do this (much beyond the sharing of this writing). Whatever the relationship, when we are called to confront in Love then we must be in Love (who is Christ) in order to deliver a challenging message with the right heart. If we take on the self-righteous role of the judge when we are delivering a timely message, then we are in danger of delivering through a spirit of pride and not love and humility.


We are never intended to judge anyone, and though we all do it naturally, this is a place of refinement that we must continually keep in check before the Lord. There is no particular order to these concepts, and the Bible makes mention of many other words of wisdom that can apply, so consider this as a foundational framework for delivery, knowing that our hearts must first be right and kept in check to deliver a message in righteousness. A simple way to begin on a good path to delivery can be represented by the acronym:


Humble yourself,
Understand God’s heart,
Meditate and Measure by the Truth,
Be open to counsel and the Holy Spirit,
Let go of the Results unto the Lord,
Evaluate everything, including your own motives

Humble yourself first and foremost before the Lord while asking for Wisdom in a heart of service and love for the Lord and for the person who is to receive the message, while testing everything – including your motives, the timing, whether you are the messenger, or whether you are just instructed to pray. The Bible says to “test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:22) This can be done on a moment’s notice, and can become a regular practice. In fact the more we practice this, the more natural it will become. God looks upon a humble heart in this fashion: “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51:17) This Psalm promotes a spirit of brokenness or humility before God, which is more apt to draw one’s heart to the Truth and out of self-righteousness and pride. The Word says that God will not despise a broken spirit and contrite heart. In this posture and heart we can. . .

Understand God’s heart of restoration, compassion, mercy for the individual, always. Regardless of where any person is, only God truly knows his or her heart. "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) Just as you and I are still a “work-in-progress”, we must always remember that others are all a “work-in-progress”, and are deserving of God’s mercy as it is still available through Christ. In all situations, if we strive at anything, let it be in our intimate fellowship with the Lord and the Holy Spirit, gaining an understanding of God’s heart for any individual before delivering a message. Rest assured that if you first humble yourself and gain God’s wisdom for the individual first, He (the Lord) will give you time to deliver it: just ask for it. While you are humbling yourself and trying to gain God’s Wisdom, you can

Meditate and Measure everything on His Word and Heart to be sure you are keeping everything under the authority of scripture. 2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” His Word and Spirit are the ultimate measure of Truth in delivering any message. We have to keep a balance between the Word and Spirit so as not to become too autocratic in delivering the “Truth in Love”. Additionally, we must be grounded in the Word so as not to follow false impressions in our spirit which can be easily swayed by the our own motives, experience, or other spiritual influences. For example, just because we know a passage of scripture that “could apply” to a situation, we can actually do more harm if we do not deliver it with the right heart, in the right time, or for the right reason or balance with other scripture that also could apply, but that perhaps we are not as acquainted. Becoming well versed in the Word is great and necessary, as long as we are not delivering the Word through self-sufficiency and pride. One can read from scripture several collisions between the Pharisees and Christ (who is the Living Word). The Pharisees were so well versed in their understanding of the Word, yet they used it for many unrighteous reasons and selfish gain. Jesus said, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean." (Matthew 23:27) Because our hearts are not completely trustworthy, we must always . . .

Be Open to counsel and the direction of the letter and Spirit of the Word, as well as the counsel of other believers. We can be completely right in our understanding of the message or delivery, yet be out of line with the Spirit in another arena. Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. (Proverbs 11:14) For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counselors there is safety. (Proverbs 24:6) Doubtless we all have had times and instances when we have delivered what was right in precept or rule to the recipient, but because we were out of alignment in another area of Truth, we were out of alignment with the Lord. Additionally, it is not always practical or timely to seek others in counsel for a particular assignment, yet it should be in our regular practice of weekly activities, to be in accountability relationships and fellowship with others to continually receive refinement through a body of believers who are also seeking the Truth in fellowship.

In all activities in the marketplace and life, if we grant that we are truly not our own, but have been bought with a price, then we do not own anything either, but are only stewards of what the Lord entrusts to us, including relationships and ultimate results. "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) Additionally, the Bible states that “The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it. . . "(Psalm 24:1), therefore, we do not own anything, and are not in ultimate or full control of the results outside of our own actions. Even the lasting effectiveness or fruit of our actions are only effective when inside of Christ and in His agreement. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) Therefore, as we continue to grow in the Vine, we can learn to . . .

Let go of the results into the hands of the Lord, allowing His Spirit to lead and work in others, as He is working in us. This process can help to keep us in check when we are tempted to manipulate others, the facts, or the situation to our benefit. Even if we see danger for the other’s potential choices, we are not allowed to violate their free will, which is given by God, unless Truth dictates otherwise (as in emergency situations). Their spiritual act of choice is still theirs, and people are still allowed to choose against the will of God (hence the reality of disobedience). Let God continue to work in you as well through the situation. As you are faced with more confrontational circumstances, you can continue to practice the presence of the Lord and His available wisdom, becoming more sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, ultimately partnering with Him in all things. Just as we are to “pray without ceasing”, which includes both appointed times of devotion and prayer, as well as a continual open dialogue with the Holy Spirit on a moment by moment basis, we are to continually. . .

Evaluate the situation honestly and soberly, without judgment, condemnation, or playing God’s role as judge. Knowing that we are all imperfect vessels, and often mingle our own bents, experiences and desires with the Truth, we must be open to “evaluating” in the light throughout all of our practices in the marketplace. Some of the most foundational ways to continue to evaluate is to stay in the Word, stay in a growing fellowship with other believers who are also seeking refinement and Truth, and to continue to develop your own personal worship, dialogue, and relationship with the Holy Spirit. In a humble and circular habit of humility, we should also submit our evaluation to the Lord, allowing His Truth to illuminate all motives, actions, and outcomes. When we evaluate in humility, our heart is right to receive continual correction through the Truth, whether it be through the Word, His Body, or another source. “He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.” (Proverbs 28:23) If we rebuke a brother in love, and receive rebuke, it is better than to flatter or to be foolish and proud. Likewise, if you rebuke a client or other marketplace relationship in a loving agreement with the Lord and His timing, you may receive a brother (or sister). "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." (Matthew 18:15) Likewise, a foolish heart will not receive correction, and we can all play the proud fool at times. “A fool spurns his father's discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.” (Proverbs 15:5)

When have you seen this process work for you in the marketplace or in other relationships?

When have you seen a confrontation backfire because you have violated on or more of the mentioned ideas?

What can you do to improve on the effectiveness of confrontation and delivering a challenging message?

Does it begin with intimacy?

Aaron Schulman is a Joint Venture Partner with Brent Long and the Long on Life community. He is married to his loving wife Jen, and currently has two lovely daughters, Rachel and Linda Grace. He is passionate about pursuing Christ in all things, worship, writing and recording music, worship leading and prayer ministry, and enjoys helping businesses, clients, entrepreneurs and Internet personnel develop better strategies for building community, traffic, and revenue with their online presence. He specializes in strategic and systematic approaches to improving all business, marketing, effective copy writing and Internet marketing and other related activities and believes in using testing to improve by factual analysis versus “gut decisions” and “guru influence”, unless that Guru is Christ.